


What i was thinking when i wrote this?

by OphisNightshade



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Character Study, Confusion, Gen, Help, I Don't Even Know, Vanya Hargreeves Deserves Better, Vanya Hargreeves-centric, What Was I Thinking?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-12
Updated: 2019-07-12
Packaged: 2020-06-27 04:59:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19783759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OphisNightshade/pseuds/OphisNightshade
Summary: I dont know really, o wanted to do a study of Vanya Character, but... well you will see (I think)





	What i was thinking when i wrote this?

What makes a monster be a villain?  
  
Many say villains are born evil, that they just like chaos, killing, money  
  
That they are made of greed, psychopaths and sociopaths who became tired of hiding  
  
But ... this is not the truth is it?  
  
Believing that someone is born evil, such is the action of a fool, a baby can not be bad, because he does not understand the things around him, a child can not be bad, because she is not fully aware of her emotions, actions and consequences of such actions  
  
Children and infants do not have the ability to understand emotions, to control them  
  
Adults are better at it, but even adults, some have no ability to understand right emotions  
  
QE, Emotional Intelligence and IQ, Intelligence Quotient  
  
Heart and Mind  
  
So many studies done, so long used to try to understand the human mind, just to people still do not understand that QE is as important as QI  
  
Suppressing one's emotions will always end badly, humans are made of emotions, without them, a human becomes empty, purposeless  
  
What good is a life, where all you have is the emptiness you can not fill?  
  
Vanya Hargreeves had a child's emotional when Reginald decided she was too dangerous to have her powers  
  
Even this little emotional, which she can not understand, was suddenly pushed at the end of her mind  
  
Sealed heart, golden chains created by pills that she did not understand, given to her by the man who 'created' her and by the nanny, Grace, who turned her own neck backwards  
  
' _I heard a rumor you think you're just ordinary'_  
  
"Ordinary" word vast and cruel, terrible thing to say to a child  
  
Limited mind, purple metal chains not letting her escape, the whisper of a sister to destroy an extraordinary life  
  
Ordinary, Ordinary, Ordinary, Ordinary, Ordinary, Ordinary, Ordinary, **YOU ARE JUST ORDINARY, Ordinary,** Ordinary, Ordinary, Ordinary, Ordinary, _Ordinary, Ordinary, Ordinary, Ordinary, Ordinary, Ordinary, Ordinary, Ordinary, Ordinary, Ordinary, Ordinary , Ordinary, Ordinary_ _, Ordinary, Ordinary, Ordinary, Ordinary, Ordinary, Ordinary, Ordinary, ORDINARY,_  
_Ordinary, Ordinary, Ordinary, Ordinary,_ Ordinary, You are JuSt Ordinary, Ordinary, Ordinary **,** **Ordinary, Ordinary, Ordinary, Ordinary, Ordinary, Ordinary, Ordinary, Ordinary, Ordinary , Ordinary, Ordinary, Ordinary, Ordinary, Ordinary, Ordinary, **ORDINARY  
ORDINARY, ORDINARY, ORDINARY, YOU ARE ORD _INARY, ORDINARY,_ _ORDINARY_  
_ORDINARY, ORDINARY, ORDINARY, YOU ARE ORDINARY, O_ ** _RDINA ~~RY, ORDINARY~~_**  
**~~_ORDINARY, ORDINARY_ , ORDINARY, YOU ARE ORDINARY, ORDINARY~~**  
  
_Mind_ and _Heart_ separated, unable to understand, unable to reach maturity, unable to grow, _Heart_ trapped in the time of a child of 4 years  
  
Eternally remembered that it is ordinary, when everything around you is special, extraordinary  
  
Such is the curse of Vanya Hargreeves, _The White Violin_  
  
**Black** and **Gray** dominated her life, sorrow and loneliness, which she was not able to fully understand  
  
The need to be _equal_ to her _brothers,_ the need to be included, **wanted** and **needed,** never left her in her sealed 26 years  
  
_Love_ is the most _bitter_ feeling  
  
She can definitely understand why people say this when _~~Allison~~_ told her the truth about her powers  
  
_Pain_ always comes with love  
  
And Vanya _loves_ her family more than anything.  
  
... I ... I ... I ... I ... I ... I ... I ...  
  
_Death,_ Vanya **hates** _death,_ but she **killed** Harold Jenkins, Leonard Peabody  
  
Is _betrayal_ still _treason_ when the person who committed it never had any _loyalty?_  
  
She was _used,_ Reginald and Harold were no different, both using it because of her _**powers,**_ one of them trying to counter them and the other trying to make them wild  
  
_**THUMP THUMP THUMP**_  
  
Harold's heart pounding, fearing her until his heart finally stopped beating.  
  
She had to see her family.  
  
She had to tell them about _~~Allison.~~_  
  
II ... II ... II ... II ...  
  
_FEAR_  
  
_SOLITUDE_  
  
**_TAKE ME OUT OF HERE_**  
  
_SORRY_  
  
_SALVATION_  
  
**~~_ALTER-EGO_~~**

_**MIND** WANTS TO BE RELEASED_

_**MIND** WANTS TO BE RELEASED_  
  
_**HEART** CAN NOT UNDERSTAND_  
  
_FEAR_  
  
~~**_STOP_**~~  
  
_THUMP THUMP_ ~~THUMP~~ _THUMP_  
  
THUMP ~~THUMP~~ **THUMP THUMP**  
  
_**THUMP** **THUMP**_ ~~THUMP _**THUMP**_~~  
  
**BOOM**  
  
_**FREEDOM**_  
  
_**WHITE**_  
  
_**WHITE**_  
  
~~_**EXTRAORDINARY**_~~  
  
**_ALTER EGO_**  
  
... III ... III ... III ... III ... III ... III ... III ...  
  
Double personality, separate _heart_ and _mind_  
  
_Wild heart,_ **uncontrollable**  
  
_Mind calculating,_ empty, single goal  
  
**Vanya Hargreeves** and _White Violin_  
  
_Ordinary_ and **Extraordinary**  
  
Unable to understand, sub effect of a ~~**rumor**~~  
  
But they can find common ground  
  
_Revenge_  
  
Bye _Bye_ ~~Pogo,~~ **Has** No _One Ever_ Taught _You Not_ **To _Lie?_**  
  
_Concert_  
  
Happiness, calculating, happiness, calculating  
  
Undecipherable humor  
  
Two personalities in control at the same time  
  
_How is this possible?_  
  
_How is this possible?_  
  
_~~Allison,~~_ came to watch her concert.  
  
_Heart_ smiled, **Vanya** smiled at her sister, white eyes that do not go off  
  
_**ATTACK**_  
  
They're trying to stop her from finishing her concert.  
  
_Why? Why? Why? Why?_  
  
_LET ME ASSUME, **MIND** SUSSURED, LET ME ASSUME AND ALL PAIN WILL GO AWAY_  
  
_**HEART** GAVE UP THE CONTROL_  
  
The concert has to finish, their goal must be completed  
  
It can not be prevented.  
  
**WHITE, WHITE, WHITE**  
  
_**WHY THERE IS SO MUCH WHITE?**_  
  
They attacked her again, she restrained them, sucked their lives, their essences  
  
She felt her sister behind her, pointed gun  
  
_SHOOT SHOOT SHOOT S **HOOT SHOOT SHOOT SHOOT SHOOT SHOOT**_  
  
Hurt you was a mistake, failure in control part of me  
  
Take your revenge, destroy me, just like you did 26 years ago  
  
_**SHOOT**_ _ **S**_ _ **HOOT**_ _ **S**_ _ **HOOT**_ _ **SHOOT** SHOOT **SHOOT SHOOT**_ **S** **HOOT** _ **SHOOT**_  
  
_**~~BANG~~**_

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for this, but i was listening music and it just poped in my mind


End file.
